Real Me

Sometimes it is hard for me to open myself up to others and let people in. I act like I have it all together and that everything is fine. I suppress my emotions and keep everything pushed down and locked up tight, for fear of what would happen if I actually let my guard down. So I appear to be strong and have life all figured out but that is not the truth. If you look deep into my heart, to the parts that are under lock and key, you would find someone who is broken, weak, and frail. You would find a person who doesn't always have the energy to be happy all the time, a person who's life has at times taken it's toll.

In the times in which I believe that I have to keep everything inside and not ask anyone for help are the exact times when I do need to say "I'm really struggling, could you pray for me?"
I have learned over this past semester how important it is to ask for help, not just from others but most importantly from God. God will keep me strong and will give me the strength to carry on. He fills the painful ache in my heart with love and grace. He sees the real me and does not judge me. He will always take care of me.

2 Corinthians 12:9-10 describes how in my weaknesses God makes me strong.

"But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, my power is made perfect in weakness.'

Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

God will lift me up in my hardships and give me the strength to carry on. Also amidst the tough times He teaches me a lesson and allows my faith to grow. He knows exactly what I'm going through and He sees the real me.

The Real Me

"Foolish heart looks like we're here again,
same old game of plastic smile don't let anybody in.

Hiding my heartache, will this glass house break.

How much will they take before I'm empty.

Do I let it show?

Does anybody know?

But you see the real me.

Hiding in my skin, broken from within.

Unveil me completely.

I'm loosening my grasp,

there's no need to mask my frailty

cause you see,

the real me.

Painted on,

Life behind a mask.

Self-inflicted circus clown

I'm tired of the song and dance.

Living a charade,

always on parade.

What a mess I've made of my existence.

But you love me even now,

and still I see somehow.

But you see the real me.

Hiding in my skin, broken from within

Unveil me completely.

I'm loosening my grasp

there's no need to mask my frailty.

Oh, cause you see the real me.

Wonderful, beautiful is what you see when you look at me.

You're turning the tattered fabric of my life into a perfect tapestry.

Oh, I just wanna be me.

I wanna be me.

But you see the real me.

Hiding in my skin, broken from within.

Unveil me completely.

I'm loosening my grasp,

there's not way to mask my frailty.

Oh, cause you see the real me,

and you love me just as I am.
Wonderful beautiful is what you see when you look at me."~Natalie Grant