Long Awaited Child

As the season of advent begins, my heart is drawn towards those of the Israelites who were longing and waiting for the Holy Child. Through their persecution and desperation the Israelites trusted and held onto the hope from the passage Isaiah 11:1-10:

"A shoot will come up from the stump of Jesse;
    from his roots a Branch will bear fruit.
 The Spirit of the Lord will rest on him—
    the Spirit of wisdom and of understanding,
    the Spirit of counsel and of might,
    the Spirit of the knowledge and fear of the Lord—
 and he will delight in the fear of the Lord.

He will not judge by what he sees with his eyes,
    or decide by what he hears with his ears;
 but with righteousness he will judge the needy,
    with justice he will give decisions for the poor of the earth.
He will strike the earth with the rod of his mouth;
    with the breath of his lips he will slay the wicked.
 Righteousness will be his belt
    and faithfulness the sash around his waist.

 The wolf will live with the lamb,
    the leopard will lie down with the goat,
the calf and the lion and the yearling together;
    and a little child will lead them.

The cow will feed with the bear,
    their young will lie down together,
    and the lion will eat straw like the ox.
 The infant will play near the cobra’s den,
    and the young child will put its hand into the viper’s nest.

They will neither harm nor destroy
    on all my holy mountain,
for the earth will be filled with the knowledge of the Lord
    as the waters cover the sea.

 In that day the Root of Jesse will stand as a banner for the peoples; the nations will rally to him, and his resting place will be glorious."

Our precious Blueberry lost at 7 weeks and 1 day (My body was 9 weeks pregnant). We lost another precious one right after Blueberry at about 4 weeks. 

My husband and are are suffering the loss of another precious child. Although these losses are significant and heartbreaking, we trust that our mighty Father will provide. We do not know or understand the timing or know how this will come about. His provision may not come from my womb but of another's. The most important thing I can stress to women who have struggled with miscarriages and infant loss is that each of these little lives matter. They have a purpose, no matter how long he or she was placed upon this earth. Each life touches and transforms the life of its parents. I am thankful to have carried each and every one of my children, even if it was only for a few weeks and my husband and I look forward to the day when we can meet each of our little ones in heaven. So we wait and hope for our loving Father to provide His blessed child and entrust him or her into our care. 

"Your eyes saw my unformed body;
    all the days ordained for me were written in your book
    before one of them came to be"

Psalm 139:16 

Path Unknown

Little life, so bright and new. Oh the dreams we had for you. Your little light burned out about a year ago, we wished so dearly that you would stay. We know God has great plans for you, not here on earth but in heaven which is so wonderful and grand, the greatness is too much for me to understand. We look forward to meeting you not in this world but in His  mighty realm, where we'll all be united again. Your sibling came to meet you six months later. In the beautiful gardens, where joy and gladness are surely to be found, as you two uncover the spectacular grounds.

Now, embarking on a new journey, the path is unknown. Marked with tests and treatments, the time frame is not my own. A whisper deep in my heart said "my timing is perfect, rest in me instead". So as we take steps towards the path He has led us on, I try to hold those whispered words close.  The journey may not be easy but He will always be holding my heart.

Be Thou My Vision

Be Thou my Vision, O Lord of my heart;

Naught be all else to me, save that Thou art;

Thou my best Thought, by day or by night,

Waking or sleeping, Thy presence my light.

Be Thou my Wisdom, and Thou my true Word;

I ever with Thee and Thou with me, Lord;

Thou my great Father, I Thy true son;

Thou in me dwelling, and I with Thee one.

Those that were Lost...

       

The silent little life disappears almost as quickly as it comes. The hopes and dreams for the future vanish with the life. 

Brokenness and pain remain. Longing for what was lost and the joy you hoped it would bring. 

The womb feels so empty after it has held life. 

Month after month praying and trusting. 

Suddenly you feel the spark of life again, but the flame is quickly snuffed out. 

Trying not to expect and hope each month. 

Letting go of dreams and expectations. 

Trying to trust in the One who guides my path and knows the deepest parts of me.

Who created me in my mother's womb, I praise Him for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

I will continue to walk on this journey of life with my Faithful Guide.

I will know and trust in His love which knows no measure and His love is greater than any desire our hearts hold. 

"He gives the barren woman a home, making her the joyous mother of children. Praise the Lord!"

Psalm 113:9